ilikeyou.

you wouldnt know.

what hurts the most, was the undesired truth.

PIKAJUANTONPITER.

loves you.

our own world;

(:lijuan! (:stories (:friends (:chatroom (:herpast.

HELLO:D

Sunday, October 26, 2008 / 22:27

"我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么~让我诚实一点
诚实~难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机~让它休息一夜
难~想切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐～我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也溶了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你~带一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕画面重生
祝我生日~快乐"

i know i am stupid.
after thinking if i should.
for the whole of 3 weeks.
after making a decision that i shouldnt,
and carrying on with this determination for 2weeks
i still did it.
26OCTOBER2008 2057.
after huineng.
gave me so much courage.
after me myself.
having me persevering on and tolerating for the whole 20hours and 57mins
which was only 3hours3minutes to the next day,
i still did it.
it took me the whole energy.
to pick up my handphone.
to call you.
i could hear my heart palpitating.
the moment you picked up the call.
"hello?"
you let me to go in a confusion.
hastily, i blurted "happy birthday"
and hungup.
"toooooooooooooootttttt"
the line went dead.
immediately, i switched off my phone.
i dont dare to on it.
i am scared.
i really am.
i dont want to feel that disappointment.
however, huineng gave me the courage again.
i on it.
i thought;
at least.
you wuld say thanks.
but you didnt.
not at all.
you would never know.
that feeling.
then.
stupid tears came.
after 10mins.
i've gt that asshole courage again
and smsed you.
2minutes ltr.
i received an sms.
i am scared to open it.
i am scared, not because of what i think you will reply.
i am scared, because i dont even know if it is you.
if i dont open it.
at least, in my heart, i can still think that there may be a chance that it could be you.
but if i open it.
if it wasnt you, i will feel disappointed again.
however.
my asshole stupid courage once again led me to open it.
it.
wasnt you.
at that very point.
i really.
sunk down.
i,
cried.
worst still,
_______ still take my feelings as a laughing stock.
they,
would nvr know.
the true feelings.
this was the third year.
nvrmind.
i've soon got to be used to it.
but i am sure.
this should be the last year.
everything should just end by this year.
the next year, shouldnt have your shadow.
i should do this.
i am very clear.
this time round.
i wont, i promise.
get myself hurt again.
i am just, nothing.
to you.