you wouldnt know.
what hurts the most, was the undesired truth. |
|
our own world;
(:lijuan!
(:stories
(:friends
(:chatroom
(:herpast.
|
|
HELLO:D |
Tuesday, September 25, 2007 / 11:16
 ppl nowadays are creating blogs hurh???nvm. (: its a GOOD way. and anw. i noe hu u all r. the way i wann.
Monday, September 24, 2007 / 21:40
GEE xd.changed blogskin. duh. i'm just gonna live the way i wann. (: STUDYSTUDYSTUDY is the main piority nw. ytd went lib study frm 10AM to 9PM. quite fun though. =p *** hangalong with achel and jy today. blahblahblah anw i rmb correctly today shld be the hist remedial. but we pushed to tml XD weird. nvm; I HAVEN TOUCH ON MY ART AT ALL and i will have no time. i think i wun be posting much. MUGGING. (= *** yaye. i m happy once again. PEACE. and i wanna thank 2persons sincerely. SINNEE and CHENHUI. thanks ppl. for lending me a listening ears. dhat's whad i call friends. <3 *** HAPPYMUGGING! Saturday, September 22, 2007 / 20:15
hey.if u ppl dhun like me U ALL R NT WELCOMED AT MY BLOG. and MIND UR OWN BUSINESS. nw i m already okayy with her lerhhs so just fuck off can? dhun make things worse. i dhun care u all still like me or nt. cuz i dun even give a damn to it. i really wonder hw we r going to be stucked in the same classroom till end of nxt yr. my bad fate man. is nt like without u all i cant live. FINE since u all are liddat i will prve to all of u. shld have listen to my mum to go fuhua instead. / 14:07
HAPPY BURFDAY TO SULI!!!you are currently 13yrs old lurhh. lols? *** ytd. i think i m going to fail my english. ARGH. despite studying so hard ferr dhat amanda is so PRO to have written 4 compos b4 she is satisfies wif the last one; including situational writing. washex. 1hr 45mins onli lehys. so much time arhhs? chi was okay. but i wrote qn 2 & 4. for situatuional writing, EVERYONE wrote qn 1. cept me and yanlin. wow. we are unique! hahas. dhen as a result of getting 10mins of lunch onli a lot of ppl were late ferr lit's lesson. hist last 2 periods. hopefully thankfully i passed my class test 6. 11/20. WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAS. rachel; let's mug together. ** after sch math remidial+painting stuffs? lol. cuz 5 PM the celebration's starting. dhen it was like. cant watch the last espisode of a drama series. HAIS. me and jingyi went to check out if dhere is any nearby television. yes, dhere is, but nt working; i think. hais again. styroform attack. whole class is in a total mess. seriously. styrofoam was everywhere; and anw i m okay wif x lerhh lol. dhen when it started sinzhi is chang e xuzhang or cuikling is the jade rabbit and xh is houyi. but xh was performing first. dhen walked round asking ppl to take photo wif them $2. mr foo [principal] oso did!! yayyee. 103 RAWKS. hahas. dhen went support 205. bought their drinks <3 and lots lurhh. dhen i kept dragging vivian to parade square at 7. but when we reached dhere. waited ferr damn long dhen it started. sinzhi was shouting ferr xh. lols? after a while. we went back. saw him. duh. everyone went to tok to him. i cant say anything. so i tried to walked away after which i was with sweejoo for the whole of the festival. sry lurhh swee. dhun liddat i will feel guilty derhh lorhh dhen i went to tok to yongtao. wasehx. i got to strech my neck. but i think he's quite nice XD hunting ferr swee for 0.5hr. tired out and finally found her :( muz smile lurhh. we promised to jiayous together derh worx. hehes. gt anything can come to me (: or yt oso. or wj. (: kk. **** hais. i m damn freaked out. dhen after dhat the guys is like all wann go mac. and i think gals onli gt jingyi, agnes, yanlin, cuiling. lol? i wanna go. but very late le lehys. 2146. by the time we reached, 2200 le lorhhs. hais. sryer. *** i m lost in the midst of u and him. whad m i supposed to do? Thursday, September 20, 2007 / 17:40
yayye.everything's over. and we r FRIENDS again XD i had an interest in hist today all of a sudden durin hist remidial. i think it was weird though. YAYE. tml going back to our register place cuz paper1 lurhh and dhen this skl was damn funny having a midautumn festival till 2130 tml when nxt wk our endofyear start. lol. but it will be interesting; i hope. with this fun class. 103. and it is the first time i had all this weird stuff. really this sch is diff frm pri sch XD new experience is gd though. and have cut my hair. wif lots of layers. but amazingly plaits can be tied. lawl i love it damn much. and jelly too :) hahas kk ** i m sorry i couldnt help u its bcuz i really dhun have time to. its nt i dhun wan u shld noe me very well since last yr given an account of stiff btwn me n u how will i not help u? but still sorry. but i m glad dhat we r back ONCE AGAIN. :D *** joozi arhs. cheer up lurhh. maybe stuff arent as complicated as u think. jiayous!! i will be dhere ferr u! (: *** kk i gtg tml's compos. situational writing. and i lourves them. wann get gd results XD bb gd luck ferr all ppl too Wednesday, September 19, 2007 / 21:47
ohyeahim back today ferr me is another hell day i think or whad. i dhunnno lurhhs. and i onli spoke to these ppl today. szehwee, jingyi, agnes, shuanhock, yanlin, sinneee, rach. dhat's all. compared to her. nvm. and i had not have any smiles on me today. not at all. yeah. maybe i did ferr a little during PE. went sch and tok to rach and jy told dhem whad happen. agnes came. ohgod. i cried again. i dhunno why i cried. its juz a reaction or whadsoever. when i went back to class.open space. u can even notice how far i pulled my table away frm him; its obvious dhat i had a quarrel wif him or whadsoever. dhen i wrote to vivian. anything juz say out. yeahh. sum parts of here and dere r misunderstandings. but dhen. u see. is nt i jealous or whad. all my frens were wif her. seriously they dunn even noe whad exactly happened. i m nt saying its x's fault. i admit its my fault. fine. but if u all think dhat i dhunn treasure my frendship wif all the rest u r wrong geog. huiqi, u misunderstood me its nt dhat i refused to tell u my geog marks bcuz i dhun like u or whad. in fact i m sad of my geog marks. i didnt wan anyone to noe. u can say dhat i m selfish or whad. but dhun misunderstand me. Pe. captain's ball. how i wish i could be odd number. cuz i dhun have any frends in even number. yanlin onli i think. if she take me for her frend. but i threw a ball to huiqi and she caught it. yeah. i was happy at dhat time. but dhen. it doesnt turned out well after dhat PC. i pushed back my table lest ms koh saw it. i m still writing to vivian though. RECESS. i satyed in class wif rach; jingyi; amanda to paste stars on the box. it was quite nice actually. i am damn hungry but i dhun wan to eat noone would eat and tok with me anw. whad for i go dhere? show them how pathetic i m? eating alone without frends? went off to bio workshop for CHEM periods. which i dhun like it dhat much. did sum bacteria experiments and i wrote to huiqi too. she'a angry wif me. oh yeah. i noe. nvm MATH. pulled back my table once again. i wasnt even listening to ahchan. i tried to. but i cant concentrate. huiqi wrote to me. i was like watching the letter being passed frm like 5 ppl b4 to me. recently flying papers and passing papers are commonly seen in 103. i seriously dhun wann to argue wif her u noe. and the math paper. my paper was e onli one without a pg and ahchan said nvm. u noe how sad i feel? even tchr dhun care bout me. and i dhunno why. i cired again while copying it on my own. its seemed like i was alone at a corner and everyone treats me as trans or whad i was like smsing swee all e way. el. ms fu wasnt here. and mr ng replaced. i was still writing letters wif huiqi and sumhow i broke down, i dhun understand. not at all. yanlin came. seriously is nt i whad. i think i m nt okay. nt cuz of dhis thing. i gotta a feeling im going to die soon and i dhunnno y i think i have gt depression. which i hated it like hell. hist. nth much anw. its juz 10 pathetic mins and sch dismissal i walked to the toilet alone again. and dhere i m thinking abt stuffs again. FOR ALL. i really hate myself. WHY M I BORN TO THINK SO MUCH i thought. everyone's walking hm wif their frends. they eat wif their friends. played with them. tok to them. confide in them. revise with them. or whadsoever. but i m always ALONE. oh f. WHY M I THINKING OF THESE AGIAN. ohgod. i noe u are going to grant my wish. if yes cant u juz do it eariler? Tuesday, September 18, 2007 / 22:09
all of u.scold me ferr i care if u really dhunno whad happen mind ur own business scolding ppl. ya. all come scold me lurhhh. u all onli listen to her. not others. and u all all say its my fault. dhen all came scolding me. by confronting me u r onli making me hating her more u noe. i really dhun wann to live in this kinda world anymore. / 16:09
ohgod.i had a quarrel wif x today. P.S u noe dhere's always a limit to EVERYTHING. and x had exceeded. i was like writing to x during el lesson hoping to clear everything. but it turned out lyk hell. i cried upon writing. onli szehwee knew. after which. lunch. conference of the same stuffs again. and i was painting. dhen rach told me whad x told her. pls lurhhs. i didnt say specify it was x. i said they all. dhen i was like telling sinnee whad i feel and i cired in the toilet AGAIN. rach oso. when we went back xuanhao;huiqi dey all all crowdin at x dhere. f. i knew tis will happen. they said x cried. wl. yeah; so??? i cried too. and noone comfort me but x got so many. they of cuz will sympathise x for x's innocent face dhat cheated lots of ppl. and ESP. x even let them c the letter. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. ITS MY PAPER AND MY PRIVACY. they all think its my fault or whad. PLS LURHH they onli hear one side of the story can? they onli hear bout whad she feels. but nt us. me; rach. x will lie too. u wun noe. u cant judge a book by its cover. and summore. x got the xx to believe her. BELIEVE lurhhs. nvm scold me forr all i care if u all hate me i will accept. cuz basically u all arent me u all dhunno how i felt. dhhen i went out to get my math textbook and junwei was dhere i slammed the locker and he tot i angry wif him no junwei. i arent angry wif u thus dhun nid to apologise to me. dhen juanjun was like dhere blocking the door. i simply juz pulled off his hand. i dhun even wann to go back to my OWN seat. face x. and xx. but eventually; i did. and i went back. i saw how everyone comfort her; its nt that i m jealous or whad. bt. why can they be liddat? i noe they dhun treat me as friends. but i will even appreciate it even if u onli smile at me. but none of them did. they stared at me as though i m going to get a death sentence and avoiding me further they will have less trouble liddat. u noe how sad i feel? i cried AGAIN. for the third time. it happened that szehwee and cuiling came to noe bout it. dhen cuiling started to explain to me bout x. i cried even more. i dhun understand at all. n seriously i dhun think this was a misunderstanding u noe. does x have a motive? i dhunno, basically to juz say i dhun trust x dhat much. and dhat xx juz looked as though EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT. i m really damn sad. dhen cuiling asked me to clam down. i managed to, but dhen i started to cry again. so i asked her to write letter. we did. and i discovered dhat x said smth and said i said de but i dint. nt at all. x was lying? x said that cuz xx tok to her dhen i jealous. NO; i DIDNT. whad i told x was dhat i wun feel anything cuz im used to it. and dhat's the truth. if x "kanwobushuang" can say derhhs. i already noe this since feb. honestly. i had been putting up wif her cuz i wan peace. but everything has a limit. and i juz cant tolerate it anymore. i dhun wan to regain friendship wif x. i dhun care if she wann a not. for the time being i m going on my own way and let the nature take its course. but i aint sure bout rach, i think she dhun ever wan to regain friendship wif x anymore. me n rach points of views are the same. however, we will find evidence b4 accusing. and the other xxx oso. she dhun like me anymore. i can see that. nvm. xxx has great influence; though. juz let her be. she can backstab or influence the whole class ferr i care. cuz i believe in retribution. i've gotta get myself stronger. i dhunn wan to be liddis anymore. and most probably; i gonna lose lots of friends. i m prepared to. juz let them hate me. i m fine with it. i cant control whad they think bout me. i dhun have the rights to. juz let me live a little longer can?? i noe sooner or later i m going to die soon. i onli wann to be happy b4 i die. is dhere anything wrong wif it? i dhunno. maybe its tomolo. dhen this will end. dhun worry i arent evil enuff to haunt them.. *** Monday, September 17, 2007 / 17:06
lawls.lijuan's in sch nw. SO DAMN HIGH TODAY . haahs love them!! <333 *** today i was sleeping in class during biology lesson cuz lyn isnt here. dhen i recalled LOTS of memories between me and him ONLY and i almost CRIED. dhen lijuan realised... ohmybloodygod. ijustLOVEhimDAMNMUCH. AWWWWWWWWWW essence of love. wahahahahas. i dhunno why i m beginning to hate lots of people. in dhis sch. i tink they veri whad de lorhhs. hais. juz nw it was damn funny when shuanhock controlled belvia's and kangli's 'blog' walao. dhun like dhem lurhh scold my frends *** vivian dhey all all pangsei miie lerhhs lawls. anw, AGNES; u noe whad de diff btwn a tortise and a cheetah?! hahas. i will prove to u again tomolo!!!! getting stronger day by day!!!!!! O.o i m still waiting ferr him. to online. duh though i still in sch nw but got webmessenger marhhs. (: but nt fated thus he isnt online. I CAN finally concentrate on my studies nw listening to the songs he sent me. (: LOVE HIM SIA. shall remain liddis forever, i like dhis feeling!!! WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAS love is in the air~~~ Sunday, September 16, 2007 / 11:48
HAPPY BURFDAY TO SHUWUEN!hahas. hey daughter, one yr older! XD mummy will be behind u always. lawls. *************** so sianz arhh. tm's geog and acc test. haven study yet. lijuan's noe she is going to die soon. so many if sumday, ferr a very long time i didnt post [like 1 mth] u will noe i have died by then. ***** Saturday, September 15, 2007 / 19:35
heyhey. lijuan's back.i m so damn godness happy. wahahas. yeah. maybe lets just remain liddis forever. FRENDS! hahas. oh ya. nw i m CRAZY about JJLIN. all thanks to him. lols. anw sorry vivian couldnt go wif u today cuz i m sick. but u did enjoy urself marhhs. so its okay right? aww. dhun worry. i still love u. hahas. but huiqi is my laopo; sinnee is my laogoong. GEEE lijuan will enjoy life frm today onwards! lalalas Friday, September 14, 2007 / 18:23
BACK. long time nvr post cuz COM was down.hahas. OH YARHH. i miss him lots. hais. anw; we changed place on wed [PC] actually i changed wif xuanhao derhhs. dhen JUNWEI was in frnt of me. den sit beside vivian cuz she changed too. [actually she was supposed to sit beside ANJIASHENG]. but ms koh later change. lol however junwei blocked me dhen xuanhao offered to change wif him and they did. whad the. and these few days even other ppl can sense that he ***** wif vivian is sumhow like he tried to spite me? nvm. I WILL BE STRONG. hahas. i tink i miss ahchen more. lols. maybe if we sever ties; it wold have been better? cuz liddat though i will be sad but i will onli be a stranger, i will try. frm today onwards. treating him as though i dunno him liddat. hais. NO SOFTBALL TILL EXAMS ARE OVER. doesnt that means i gonna die??? I WILL MISS SOFTBALL DERHHS. nvm. muz practise on own dhen. (: exams r coming; people. ORAL JUZ FINISHED YTD. NEXT FRI START. hais. **** and i wun be organisin any gatehrings anymore, i have decided. if they wann ask them organise themselves. i have organised for 9months. hais. [[stranded alone on a lonely island] Saturday, September 08, 2007 / 16:16
lijuan's sad.cuz she haven been revising at all. yes lurhh. HISTORY. and i planned to revise BIO tonight; GEOG and CHEM tomolo. ENGLISH was my worst subject ever; but i dunno how to revise it. quote of the day: " let you be the motivation for me to study! <333" hahas. when i told sijia that... this is whad she replies: "Gad.. DE MOTIVE FER EUU TUHH STUDY?! EUU STUPID GURL. he was nev de motive fer any1. his attitude isn even dere! Euu gotta get over him. All euu nid is time." lol? hais. but i dhun tink so; i will tri to recall those memories barhhs. the old him. i mean. (: JIAYOUS!! and good luck ferr everyone's exams! Friday, September 07, 2007 / 18:16
FEVER. 38.5DEGREES CELSIUS.since pri 3, i didnt have fever till SO HIGH BEFORE. i feel as if i am being burnt up OHGOD. help me barhhs.. onli sijia and huiqi asked me to get well soon. (: dey r dhen the real frends! nt like xxx. haiz. gtg, REST+WATER! <3333 didnt have much appetite; though. but craving for water. (: / 15:37
change skin.but the song doesnt go with it. who cares? i like da song <333333333 *** FEVER!! duh. hate it. i wann to revise my HISTORY! hais. quote of the day: "YOU are making me start to hate you." hahas. haven been exercising.. O.o lawls. gtg LIJUAN (: Thursday, September 06, 2007 / 22:25
i have decided to have the 'quote' of the day whenever i post.today's quote: "I believe that one day, i will find the old you back again" *** hahas. noe whad? he told me the old him has disappeared; which i agreed but i will find him back sumday. and he said:" pls dun fall in love wif the new xxx" wow. ordering love sia. i dhun tink i planned to; anyway. been hurt countless times. but dhen. he's avoiding or ignoring me nowadays or maybe even treating me as transparent;; i can c that and the way he talks to me. he is making me starting to hate me lerhhh does he noe dhat? and i dun wan to; seriously. *** i hoped i can really forget everything. eevry single of the memory. even if i nid to start off my academic, i would even agree. i juz dhun wann to live in this kinda world anymore;; i juz wann to be myself. Wednesday, September 05, 2007 / 16:56
dhunn feel like blogging nowadays;mixed and wild feelings. lawls. *** went to watch SECRET with shuanhock and jingyi ytd. JAY CHOU ROCKS!!! hahas. and the cinema is veryy weird. hahas. shuanhock WAS late ferr the movie. lol. after that went walking round everywhere. dhen played arcade. FUN. i finally won the last race. <3 happy~ went ice skating too. vry cold.. dhen mac. nth much. tok tok tok.. hahas. went hm (: *** my holidays. haven been revising. kept watching mr fighting!! SO DAMNN NICE. goonna revise soon.. (: *** maybe whad he said is correct. the one that i admired long ago has disappeared. hahas. i dhun understand. he evn dared to say that out and other stuffs?! hais. CONCENTRATE ON STUDIES barhhs. (: Monday, September 03, 2007 / 21:11
today went library wif other softballers<33they were funny. I WOULD never wann to sort books again!!! damn tiring. lawls. after dhat went eat KFC wif joozi~ ***** went sijia's hos cuz dere was hos warming. i almost lost my way XD played LIFE wif haiyun and sijia's other frends. lawls. had pillow fight wif haiyun too. almost knocked down the table lamp XD hahas watched tv, tok, drink while waiting ferr pizza <333 finally the pizza arrived. haiyun ate the most. again. it was USUAL; normal. if she wasnt the one that ate the most.. i tink onli dhen it would be abnormal. lawls. den watched MR BEAN. funny. after all sijia's frends left, onli me n haiyun stayed. we went msn and tok to xx. using sijia's acc. ****************** of cuz, we didnt let him noe dhat me n haiyun were dere. we were toking bout me... and. onli den. he told us his real view of me. i am a BITCH. i felt it. i can sensed that my heart shattered into million pieces. the feeling is no equal to that of a dead person. after which i asked sijia n haiyun to leave the rm i wanted to thrash things out wif him alone. and i told him i WAS dere. and i did tok to him. he said i breached the rules. whenever i wann go ACSI or did go.. he would sever ties wif miie. so i told him that since he really thinks dhat way dhen i shld get my punishment. fine. i deserved to be punished; arent i? in that case; at least he would be happier. like i had said b4 on 06082006 onli i suffer. nvm. at least that is better den nth. we severed ties. i told him; bt he didnt say anything. he told me he have stead lerhhs. and blah blah blah. hais. left sijia hos at 2215. reached home at 2240... i m breaking down;;; ------------- i aint lijuan. cuz she's dead. |
thegirl.
wahlijuan.
 ♥ME!(: i am 花俪娟 WAHLIJUAN. ex-shuqunite, currently nanhuarian. i've been to a lot of lovely classes: currently in 404! i exist since 16.01.1994, going 16 soon!, i am a SOFTBALLER, and BELONGS TO NHURRICANES ;D I PLAY CENTER-FIELD, pitcher. iloves ALOT of stuff. esp. hurricanes, 404, cfournians! bball mates as well:D WAFFLES are nice:D pikachu rocks. BBALL<3! but i hates STUFF TOO. like bitches & bastards, liars, esp FLIRTS. and i dontlike empty-promises. dont make me :'( if you dont piss me off, i wont dislike you. Email l Friendster l |
SCREAMMMMMMMM.
in my heart
|
affiliates
you wouldnt know.
.shuqunite .cfournians .chenhui! .unicornians .haiyun-LOVE! .sijia-LOVE! .jayda .shihui .wanxin .tingjun .ginang .zhangyong .anqi .afiqah .allen .eelin .trisha .shuwuen .binbin .harriet .geeling .ginahiu .seahcheng .valerie .amani .hurricanes-juniors! .hurricanes .marissa .clara .geraldine .renee .jieling .hwanling .weiting .suemae .hazel .doreen .annette-xanga .annette-blog .eunice .cindy .cherie .yanger .siewying .xinyi .peijuan .yixin .ziyi .xueyao .rachel. .waifoon .grace .annabel .twoohthree .shuanhock .xuzhang .june .cuiling .yanlin .junwei .sarah .wenhui .globalwarming .threeohfour .yiliang .lionel .qihui .cailing .liqing .xinhui .weisiang .jstar .jstar-baseball .wqyl .ahping |
archive
:(
2006.02
2006.03
2006.04
2006.05
2006.06
2006.07
2006.08
2006.09
2006.10
2006.11
2006.12
2007.01
2007.02
2007.03
2007.04
2007.05
2007.06
2007.07
2007.08
2007.09
2007.10
2007.11
2007.12
2008.01
2008.02
2008.03
2008.04
2008.05
2008.06
2008.07
2008.08
2008.09
2008.10
2008.11
2008.12
2009.01
2009.02
2009.03
2009.04
2009.05
2009.06
2009.07
2009.08
2009.09
2009.10
2009.11
2009.12
2010.01
2010.02
2010.03
2010.04
2010.05
2010.06
2010.09
2011.01
2019.03
credits
pretend i'm okay
layout was made by /Negativityicon was made by darkdegree |