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what hurts the most, was the undesired truth. |
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HELLO:D |
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 / 21:47
 ohyeahim back today ferr me is another hell day i think or whad. i dhunnno lurhhs. and i onli spoke to these ppl today. szehwee, jingyi, agnes, shuanhock, yanlin, sinneee, rach. dhat's all. compared to her. nvm. and i had not have any smiles on me today. not at all. yeah. maybe i did ferr a little during PE. went sch and tok to rach and jy told dhem whad happen. agnes came. ohgod. i cried again. i dhunno why i cried. its juz a reaction or whadsoever. when i went back to class.open space. u can even notice how far i pulled my table away frm him; its obvious dhat i had a quarrel wif him or whadsoever. dhen i wrote to vivian. anything juz say out. yeahh. sum parts of here and dere r misunderstandings. but dhen. u see. is nt i jealous or whad. all my frens were wif her. seriously they dunn even noe whad exactly happened. i m nt saying its x's fault. i admit its my fault. fine. but if u all think dhat i dhunn treasure my frendship wif all the rest u r wrong geog. huiqi, u misunderstood me its nt dhat i refused to tell u my geog marks bcuz i dhun like u or whad. in fact i m sad of my geog marks. i didnt wan anyone to noe. u can say dhat i m selfish or whad. but dhun misunderstand me. Pe. captain's ball. how i wish i could be odd number. cuz i dhun have any frends in even number. yanlin onli i think. if she take me for her frend. but i threw a ball to huiqi and she caught it. yeah. i was happy at dhat time. but dhen. it doesnt turned out well after dhat PC. i pushed back my table lest ms koh saw it. i m still writing to vivian though. RECESS. i satyed in class wif rach; jingyi; amanda to paste stars on the box. it was quite nice actually. i am damn hungry but i dhun wan to eat noone would eat and tok with me anw. whad for i go dhere? show them how pathetic i m? eating alone without frends? went off to bio workshop for CHEM periods. which i dhun like it dhat much. did sum bacteria experiments and i wrote to huiqi too. she'a angry wif me. oh yeah. i noe. nvm MATH. pulled back my table once again. i wasnt even listening to ahchan. i tried to. but i cant concentrate. huiqi wrote to me. i was like watching the letter being passed frm like 5 ppl b4 to me. recently flying papers and passing papers are commonly seen in 103. i seriously dhun wann to argue wif her u noe. and the math paper. my paper was e onli one without a pg and ahchan said nvm. u noe how sad i feel? even tchr dhun care bout me. and i dhunno why. i cired again while copying it on my own. its seemed like i was alone at a corner and everyone treats me as trans or whad i was like smsing swee all e way. el. ms fu wasnt here. and mr ng replaced. i was still writing letters wif huiqi and sumhow i broke down, i dhun understand. not at all. yanlin came. seriously is nt i whad. i think i m nt okay. nt cuz of dhis thing. i gotta a feeling im going to die soon and i dhunnno y i think i have gt depression. which i hated it like hell. hist. nth much anw. its juz 10 pathetic mins and sch dismissal i walked to the toilet alone again. and dhere i m thinking abt stuffs again. FOR ALL. i really hate myself. WHY M I BORN TO THINK SO MUCH i thought. everyone's walking hm wif their frends. they eat wif their friends. played with them. tok to them. confide in them. revise with them. or whadsoever. but i m always ALONE. oh f. WHY M I THINKING OF THESE AGIAN. ohgod. i noe u are going to grant my wish. if yes cant u juz do it eariler? |
thegirl.
wahlijuan.
 ♥ME!(: i am 花俪娟 WAHLIJUAN. ex-shuqunite, currently nanhuarian. i've been to a lot of lovely classes: currently in 404! i exist since 16.01.1994, going 16 soon!, i am a SOFTBALLER, and BELONGS TO NHURRICANES ;D I PLAY CENTER-FIELD, pitcher. iloves ALOT of stuff. esp. hurricanes, 404, cfournians! bball mates as well:D WAFFLES are nice:D pikachu rocks. BBALL<3! but i hates STUFF TOO. like bitches & bastards, liars, esp FLIRTS. and i dontlike empty-promises. dont make me :'( if you dont piss me off, i wont dislike you. Email l Friendster l |
SCREAMMMMMMMM.
in my heart
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