you wouldnt know.
what hurts the most, was the undesired truth. |
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our own world;
(:lijuan!
(:stories
(:friends
(:chatroom
(:herpast.
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HELLO:D |
i revived.
Sunday, March 17, 2019 / 00:30
 Never thought i would be able to get this blog back considering I have lost the email & pw to this account... Have been trying for probably the past 5years?
:)
Everything has changed.
Not sure if it's for the better or worse but definitely much has changed.
for the past few years.
even the fact that I go by the name Geri or Gerilyn instead of Lijuan now.
wow.
not sure why all of a sudden i am feeling this way again, and maybe everything is just a sign and all along everything has just been fate at work..
but i certainly do, remember everything.
with that damned memory of mine.
and also here i am, finally 25 years old, 14 years after I have started this blog.
looking back at everything just made me realise how stupid i was or really, how an individual grows up shapes the rest of his or her life.
heh.
can't stop laughing at myself really.
my real self.
失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍
你会等待还是离开
hello 2011!
Thursday, January 06, 2011 / 22:26
hahah omgosh.i haven been posting since idk when LOL awwww. my blog's dead anw. and at times i even forgot that ive a blog. this blog. since year 2006 hahaha HAPPY 5th year LOL. idk if i shld try reviving it, see first ba. nowadays ppl are lazy to blog too. or only me? heh idk:X life's pretty screwed recently. didnt really wana mention much. as i could say, people change. ohwell, everyone do changes and the people arnd them just have to accept it, for who they are. i changed too i guess. ahah happy birthday to jerrald wee. and erm hwanling and yikang. random. my birthday is coming soon! but sian sia im like soooo old:( working tmr with gina, i shld get more sleep but im ._. currently. i need lullaubys haha! im bored.
IM BACK! :D
Saturday, September 11, 2010 / 13:44
 hahah ginang inspired me to blog againD: idk why AHAHAHH! :D 3months didnt blog idk why too. lost interest, thanks so someone-.- idk what im gona blogD: ahha i guess im gona flunk prelim2 since ive been slacking everyday including the sept hols D: i missed bball! strikeout! aha. olvls coming soon._. EVERYONE JIAYOUS BA! i know i need to too. finding motivation! (: heh. i like my blog suddenly. lol. crapping ftw. maybe i wont blog again alr hahah idk :O LALALALLA IM HIGH. tmr shall camp at lib:) you woke my heart up;
/ 11:13
3months since i last posted;reading and rewinding back our past; where the love used to start. ♥ Wednesday, June 16, 2010 / 23:10
WAHLIJUAN WANTS TO CHANGE HER BLOGSKIN._.ouch. ytd was strikeout trn:D joo alicia suemae vivien cindy lijuan! haha. morn left house damn early cuz hahaha. met jerald and yongtao. i think im seeing them like idk hw many times in holidays. went photocopying stuff then bussed to clem. waited for vivi and jiao. lunched at mos, weiming joined:O bussed to ngeeann. PLAY BBALL:D hahaha. quitefun, although not full team. then somehow the guys came over. yt jj aaron jw. haha played with them was fun:D sunburnt. rushed to westmall without joo and watched karate kid. IT WAS NICE:D camwhored. :) haha we look like a bunch of weirdos taking photos outside westmall. bussed home. YAYAE. :) today ran with cindy again:) lalaa. i think im addicted to running. ._. idk if thats a gd thing or bad thing. ive got to stop stoning. it has been 4nights. slappppppppp. im doing alot of stuff. but they're not for myself. :x studying with sinnee and jerald tmr. tired. JERALD GAN IF U DARE LATE U TRY UH. lol. i supposed he will still be late. then i shall go myself. feel like running tmr too. maybe i should. alone. yayae. -.- i knew its not you cant. its ur unwillingness. ifnot, i wuldnt be in that way. courage thrashed. only things related to her then you will. only things related to you then i will. maybe things r just like this. maybe one day my heart will die of the buliding up of acids._. im a girl. -.- i hope there would ever be one day, one night, you wuldnt be the cause of my tears. fifth's. thats for you.
Monday, June 14, 2010 / 00:35
does it mean that.only by doing it then u will care or what. idk. but srsly. wtf am i thinking by saying. wtf am i thinking by doing. wthhhhhhhhhhh. ._. habits cant be changed. so i guess i wuld go back to diaries and blogging soon. prelims resuming soon and wtf im nt studying that much as i did for first 3days or prelim1. -.- have been runnning with my running partner CINDY<3 bballing with jj cindy sinnee gina jerald studying at je lib with er qiaoyan suemae juanjun yongtao jerald sinnee cindy like diff ppl haha. tmr studying with MARISSA AND SUEMAE. then running with cindy:) and jerald._. HAHAHAH. JURONGEAST TO JURONG POINT HERE I COME. me and cindy alw wondered. one day, maybe we will run from pasirris to jookoon. LOL. we calculated. around 8+9hours or more. HAHAHAA im high and im low. idk._. i thought. maybe i culd rise up in ur heart. i thought, by doing all those with strong will n dertermination, all these efforts, i could maybe b at least alittle more impt. however, im wrong. ._. thats why i did. but i finally understand noone could replace her in ur heart. u sure like a lot too dontyou? theres no measurement for love; and love is never ending. its okay lijuan. it will be gone soon just bear with it for a while. ouch. ._. moodswings.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010 / 23:30
 aftr today i think i have a greater impression of the term moodswings. i was with ten smileys :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D and the next i can be with ._. and then :( sometimes i really hate it how people around could influenced me so much; but i couldnt really control it :x ._. ruined night, great morning. arghhhhhhhh stop changing your mind. my mood changes with ur decision -.- i guess i could try being a spy or what cause i think a lot. till i got the solution and a lot of unanswered questions. and i will be able to detect if one's lying. how great could that be. so. dont lie to me. thanks juanjun. (: exhausted,
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 / 23:12
 haven been blogging lately and this shows how hardworking im on my studies:D LOL. this's week is prelims1 and thankgodness tmr's chinese. yup im not studying as im lazy and im not in the mood too. further ruined by someone who alw bullies me >: and some blur guy. hah. ._. although its prelim week. these three days have been playing bball still. halfstrikeout? heh. today tseyu pig ps us. LOL. i guess tmr he will er.. HAHA. OHYAYAE TMR IS STRIKEOUT FIRST TRN:D haha aww suemae! u have sb trn! <---(hehe) cheers to agnes alicia vivien huineng cindy! lala ngee ann here we comeeeeeee oh joo joining:D. thurs's sports carnival. suddenly dont feel like playing. gahhhh. HEY QIAOYAN! ^^ heheh. we shall have a good talk soon! :D i wished i could return to last yr. i wouldnt mind the year repeating again. :) if i can do changes, i will definitely. :D i wont let you go again; these mixed feelings in me._. i feel like running and bang into smth to have a clearer state of mind hah. today is totally ._. no sense to me. rahhhhhhhhhhh. i shall bball bball study study and dont care about anything else. shall make clear what i want. :) wheeee go lijuan! (: FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Wednesday, May 12, 2010 / 22:57
i have a whole family of fuckers.i wouldnt be surprised if one day i couldnt b found. Thursday, May 06, 2010 / 09:52
really hope one day everything will stop.:x do you know how much it hurts. i will never forget that day. march24. Saturday, May 01, 2010 / 11:11
 i think i can treat you as a friend. i shall just keep that feeling in the bottom of my heart. but whenever i see things or hear things related to you and her. i can feel, the sourness in my heart. :( or maybe. i should really stop talking to you, idontknow. :x
screw myself.
Sunday, April 25, 2010 / 22:48
idk whats come over me.:x yes people, i know ive changed a lot. i knew the reason for my change too :/ i guess a lot of ppl are just starting to dislike lijuan. just like ____. :( friends culd once be very very close. but they now could be strangers. wrong people make me :D worng people make me :( its kinda confusing. im sick and tired of the fact that its a daily routine whereby i go school, see you and her and get siann diao, aftr sch heard this and that, return home then have an emo night. or otherwise some weird incidents and weird emotions just swept over me. somehow i feel im just preventing myself from falling into other traps. whereby i will fall deeper and deeper. idk.:x im hoping that my dear huineng will be alright:D dont worry theres me k! maybe i will join u soon:/ sorry suemae. sorry juanjun. sorry cupid. ohdear. tmr's start of routine again. sometimes i'd wish to be alone. sometimes i wish. i really wish i could disappear. by talking to and relying on you, im trying to make myself more miserable aftr going back to the fact that you arent here? im lost. brokenhearted.
Thursday, April 22, 2010 / 19:03
its over i guess.idk how many times it has shattered. countless i guess. i shall not do anything anymore. even blind can see that you like her alot. defeated.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 / 23:22
a little fucked off everyday.wasnt in good mood. unless im doing things that i like:D like bballing sballing. ususally, the nights suck. how do i tell you that; maybe a little more attention will do. iver tried for very long. everything that i could do. bt the fact just remains there and we both knew that it wuld be impossible. and how do i tell u that everytime when i see you and her. my heart wuld ache. how do i tell you that even the minorest thing related, i will also be affected. i guess you knw me; but i dontknw you. everything's spinning around me right now. idk what to say, idk what to do. sometimes i wuld rather. end. maybe its just me. school is a place of tears and i wouldnt even wana visit it. :( thankyou juanjun. 我知道故事不会太曲折 我总会遇见一个什么人 陪我过没有了她的人生 成家立业之类的等等 她做了她觉得对的选择 我只好祝福她真的对了 爱不到我最想要爱的人 谁还能要我怎样呢 我爱的人不是我的爱人 她心里每一寸都属于另一个人 她真幸福幸福得真残忍 让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深 我爱的人她已有了爱人 从他们的眼神说明了我不可能 每当听见她或他说"我们" 就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声 argh.
Thursday, April 15, 2010 / 23:18
haven been blogging for long.1. lazy to update 2. tired. 3. its dead anyway. HELLO PEOPLE? anyone here? haha. i realise i like thurs and fri:D yayae tmr interclass! (: haha. but i alrdy know. something would be there to sadden me. oh well. ; GO 402! :D jiayous! (: im bored. JIAYOUS JUNIORS yayae softball both div top4. bdiv champs! :D cdiv- tentative. tired. i wana give up. but it hurts. 0101
Saturday, April 10, 2010 / 00:58
its 01:01am in the morningim still online. (: goonna sleep soon:x eyes cmi le ahhaaha jiao.
/ 00:23
haven really been posting.blog and tagboard all dead le anw. im currently fucked up with jiao ppl. idk whats wrong with them la seriously. i know its fun to jiao ppl but do they think of other ppl feelings like seriously. :( screw all of you man. everything that seems to be mine always end up being hers ohwell, i get it. i aint significant. she is. and the thing is. my fav thing gt jiaoed too. it totally made me :( its like making me hate the thing la whatever shit. liking you have been screwing up my life. it suck so im gonna put an end to everything. n its not like i didnt take acre of my phone and let others see others smses. argh. __________ the whole just fuck off yeah. yayae its 0032 in the morning i love msn. :D at least theres still ppl whom i talk to and will make me :D |
thegirl.
wahlijuan.
 ♥ME!(: i am 花俪娟 WAHLIJUAN. ex-shuqunite, currently nanhuarian. i've been to a lot of lovely classes: currently in 404! i exist since 16.01.1994, going 16 soon!, i am a SOFTBALLER, and BELONGS TO NHURRICANES ;D I PLAY CENTER-FIELD, pitcher. iloves ALOT of stuff. esp. hurricanes, 404, cfournians! bball mates as well:D WAFFLES are nice:D pikachu rocks. BBALL<3! but i hates STUFF TOO. like bitches & bastards, liars, esp FLIRTS. and i dontlike empty-promises. dont make me :'( if you dont piss me off, i wont dislike you. Email l Friendster l |
SCREAMMMMMMMM.
in my heart
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